“Cooking by the Book”


This has got to be the funniest video on YouTube EVER! I donno whether it should be rated U because of the dolls or PG17 because of Lil’ Jon and his antics! But this is classic material still!

Things You Didn’t Know About Hell


The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being – which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God please somebody help me!”

I like girls with guns!


download this awesome wallpaper here.

Lawd Have Mercy!


I thought about it last night in depth. It might be a good thing hanging out with a girl of the spirit. And I think I’ve found the one.

I dont think, I KNOW! I want this girl. Anybody with details of her whereabouts shall be duly rewarded. I need some god in my life! She can bless me however she sees fit! Damn.

MJ LIVES


Beyonce has a bigger dick than you do and I bet with all that money and fame, JayZ lets her nut wherever on him she likes.

Ha-ha. I just grossed myself out with that opening line but it’s the truth. If there was ever going to be a new Michael Jackson, it was never going to be a rapper because not everybody accepts rap music. European? They all make fruity music, except Britney Spears. Rocker? Similar to rap, not widely accepted. African music just isn’t heard all over the world. After a series of complex calculations with big names that only math geeks and cunts use, that only leaves us with two big artists, Lady GaGa and Beyonce.

You’d probably be lying if you said you knew about this song before you knew about the video.

With these two, only simple math is needed. Black people most people find Lady GaGa, due to lack of a more descriptive word, strange. In addition, there are all the rumours about how much long she puts into the word shlong, she’s more than lost this race to BeyBey!

Every man in the world wants to bed this dendai. Every woman in the world wants to look like her, maybe even bed her too! Fuck gold, everything Beyonce touches becomes number 1 and in this game, that’s what’s important. Plus there’s the small issue of her winning 6 Grammys in one night. <and _ total compared to mj>

Speaking of girls who bust nuts, check out Cytherea (NSFW).

Lets stop trying to do the moonwalk for a minute and do that booty pop (ladies only), it might hit you . . . I know I want to hit it!

Don’t worry, she’s staying black.

AWW SKEET SKEET SKEET


Before I begin, id like to send a firm, backhanded, man slap to everybody wearing and supporting sneaker sandals. No god can help y’all.

So it turns out that Tuesday was Steak and Blowjob day. Now that’s a day I want to see in my calendar annually. Thanks to Resha, the last two hours of my day were used up thinking about what activities take place on this great day. Not the steak eating. That’s something I do daily, sometimes even more than daily. I digress.

Here a superhero is with his eyes closed picturing Rihanna’s forehead on my abs and enjoying the hell out of this late night fantasy. All of a sudden, RiRi looks up at me and says “tell me when you’re close, don’t cum in my mouth.”

Tell me when you’re close??? What is the matter with this broad? That’s why her albums don’t sell! She’s clearly dumber than a box of hair! How does she expect me to push her off of me when I’m at the height of my pleasures? What was the use of all this if I am to be denied the best parts? Then it hits me, its not imaginaRiRi  see what I did there? Its ALL girls!

ATTENTION LADIES: It’s true; ALL the blood is at my fun brain during fellatio. Telling me what not to do with my jizm at that moment is futile. I’m not trying to hear that, just trying to get mine.

What we really need to know is the proper and acceptable skeet etiquette. You don’t want to taste it so what am I meant to do with my load? I know hair is a no-no. Should I turn sideways and shoot? Should I straight ignore you and risk a skeetage malpractice lawsuit and just dump in your oral? Ladies know the answer to this best and should, no, MUST tell us what is acceptable. I know some of you think it’s all not pretty, but I’m sure you prefer it on one place more than on another. People need to know the rules. Stop sitting on world changing information. Share.

This post reminds me of a Devin the Dude song…

No daddy, no!


Found this really cool wallpaper on the internets yesterday. Really blew my mind. Download it here.

We love daddy issues, but when it gets here, RUN!